Through the interwebs, I like to portray myself as the model mom – tough, fit, patient, loving, dedicated, motivated, and passionate. In fact, if you follow me on Facebook, you’ll often see me giving out positive encouragement, especially on dreaded Mondays. I’m a firm believer that we are in charge of our own attitude, and therefore in charge of who we are, how we are perceived and the impact we have on those around us.
As I always say… choose joy.
But it’s not always peaches and cream here in the Ladewski household. There are struggles and obstacles that bring me down and I’m not the SuperMom everyone thinks I am.
My patience is worn thin after a long and busy day at work.
I compare myself to other people – fitness professionals, writers and friends.
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| I was frazzled on this day. |
I beat myself up over mistakes.
I’m angry that everyone else around me seems to catch all the big breaks.
I’m saying “No, kids, don’t bother me – I have work to do.”
I need just 2 extra hours in the day.
I snap judgement before I know the whole story.
I complain about what others have and why I can’t seem to get there.
What am I doing wrong? Am I not working hard enough?
My kids keep fighting. I’m losing patience.
I’ve realized that there’s nothing wrong with working hard and trying to achieve goals and dreams you have for yourself. But when it’s at the expense of the most important things in my life, then something needs to change.
I’ve been working diligently at my job and also on a project that I’m excited about. I sit down to answer emails and write and that’s the exact moment that my daughter wants to do a craft project or my son wants to do puzzles.
I also noticed that my kids have been bored, crabby and fighting more. Which makes my work time much harder and much more frustrating. Asking my son to bring his puzzles by my computer so I could help him and finish my emails doesn’t seem to be working.
I wasn’t giving them the attention – the focused attention – they needed. While I was doing puzzles, I was thinking about emails and work. While I was doing work, I felt guilty for not spending time with my family. I love to multi-task… it makes me feel like I’m getting lots of things done. When in reality, I’m getting less done because my mind is in five different places at once.
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| Enjoy the moments |
I’m passionate about helping people reach their fitness goals. I’m passionate about my own work and clients, Girls Gone Strong, my daily job running Parisi, and growing my business to educate more and more people. But I’m even more passionate about my family and giving my kids the love and attention they need.
Wow! Thanks for being so honest! You certainly aren’t the only one who feels this way!
Thanks so much for posting this!! It isn’t very often people share the difficulties of being super mom but its refreshing because I’ve often felt this way.
Being a mom is tough, whether working full time or at home. Thank you for having the guts to share your struggles and triumphs with us!
Ive felt more like you then you know!!! Going through med-menopause, having hot flashes, training, not getting it right, crying more cause i cant get it right, (Premenopause), it kills me!!! I try not to complain, cause everyone thinks I’m super mom. I wait until I do everything else for everyone, then go to my room and cry. Not because I’m sad, because I did everything I was suppose to do. I just wish someone would take care of me… I really need it. I do have one person who really cares… my son!!! Every morning he asks me, R U ready mom?!!! I’m like, I guess, but once I’m at the gym, I want him to be proud of me…. so, I do the best I can…. then I say to myself…. you did good Shell!!!, That’s what keeps me going…. my babies… sure there 27 and 22, but I love them more then anything in the world!! That’s why I’m doing my best I can. I thank you Julia for all the advise provide!! Shelly
Thank you so much for your honesty. For me personally, I try to remember that my kids will only be little for so long. Then they will be teenagers and want nothing to do with me! I can only do so much and do the best I can with what time I do have. You are doing great and helping other mommies just like me.
Thanks for the post! I, too, feel that way at the end of a long, long day.
All day long I think of ways to challenge my homeschooled six-year-old and have fun with her, while I’m at my full time job taking care of other peoples’ children. Then I get home and don’t even want to cook, let alone do an art project or go for a nature walk.
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone 🙂
It’s the same for us dads. Up at 5am to go train people after 6 hours’ sleep interrupted halfway by a teething 12 month old, all the way through to 2pm to be home with the boy, or 6pm and just feed and bathe him before he sleeps, plus ordinary old housework, trying to fit in quality time with the wife and maybe a bit of wind-down time for myself… I fuck up a lot.
I always say to clients, don’t give 110%, since if you try, some other area of your life will suffer, and if nothing else, it’ll be your health. But when it’s your kids you have no choice, it has to be more than 100%.
What can we do but muddle along.