Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

Most days, I’m pretty proud of my accomplishments. I became a Division I strength coach at the age of 21. I’ve hit some pretty big numbers in the sport of powerlifting. I’ve had some awesome work experiences along the way. I’ve helped many clients achieve some great results. I’ve watched some of the athletes I worked with make it to the NFL. I’ve watched those young 18 year old kids grow up into wonderful adults, graduate, get married and have kids.

Makes me proud to have been a part of those things.

But some days, I just don’t feel like things are going all that well. And I blame it on the internet.  (Kidding… kinda.)

The internet is a wonderful place of finding awesome information, networking with professionals in your field and staying caught up with friends. Unfortunately, because of the overload of information and “friends” we do have, it can cause us to over-analyze every little thing. A couple weeks ago, everywhere I turned, I found myself comparing my work, my writing, my lifting and myself to every person that crossed my path.

It was very frustrating, de-motivating and damaging to my confidence.  And I, of all people, should know better. I work with kids every day and do a darn good job of making them feel good about themselves and their accomplishments. We focus on the positives and teach them about not saying things like “can’t” or “never.”

I usually vent to my husband about stuff like this… he kindly listens and reassures me that I have nothing to worry about. That I’m in a much different place than other people and the work that I’m doing is right where I need to be. But last week, I also got in a conversation with one of my Elitefts teammates (mostly regarding training) and he said the same thing.  He also said that comparing myself to others doesn’t do anybody any good. And all I can do is bust my butt in the gym.

Photography by Ken Hicks – Elitefts.com

And, he said that my big PR’s, my big numbers, are right in  front of me. All I have to do is walk toward them. If i really want to squat 460 again, I can, but I have to first recognize that it’s there for the taking. My husband also continues to encourage me to finish and write this e-book that I’m working on, despite me telling myself that no one will want to listen to what I have to say.

Negative self-talk can be one of the most damaging things in our lives and the major setback to moving forward in any goal, whether it’s training, family, or professional. I would never let my own children or the athletes I work with speak negative about themselves, so what gives me the right to that?

What are your goals? What’s holding you back? And how do you plan to overcome?

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Julia Ladewski

About Julia Ladewski

8 Responses to “Overcoming Negative Self-Talk”

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  1. Cookie says:

    JULIA!!!! YOU? NO WAY! Knock it off! You’re my hero, definitely an idol, and completely inspirational to me! In my eyes, you’re “it” already, while I am still working on figuring out the trip. Be kind to yourself, you deserve to tell yourself you’re awesome, and believe it! Keep being proud of who you are, as you are exceptional! You are the example I use when other females (and some males!) need motivation.

    My goal is to be half as awesome as you – and I will know when I get there that it’s 100 x’s better than average!

    ♥-Cookie Bigness

  2. raerae77 says:

    What Cookie said. I think you are awesome. My boyfriend was giving me shit in Iowa telling me not to act like a stalker. lol. Anyhow, I think we all go through it. I want to help others in training, but I constantly doubt I have what it takes. I am going to take that step forward though because if I can pull my shit together then maybe I can help others do the same. Luv you girlie.

    ~ Raylene

  3. Hey Jules!
    I absolutely relate to this and interesting that you wrote about this because I’ve been working on a post about something similar. For what it’s worth, I think we all go through bouts of this and we have to remind ourselves why we are absolutely friggin amazing.
    For now, I will take the liberty of reminding YOU why I think you’re amazing: you are extremely friendly, fun, beautiful, strong, encouraging, and intelligent, just to name a few. You also have some of the cutest kids I’ve ever seen. BONUS! ;) You are extremely loved girlfriend! Now stop reading this and go work on that e-book! Love you!

  4. Courtney L. Townsel says:

    Hello Julia. I was in contact with Elitefts recently. I had a question for them as far as a gym in the Chicagoland area. They referred me to you. I was looking for an iron gym. I was thinking of joining World’s Gym. I’ve liked Elitefts on face book. Elitefts has motivated me to pick back up my power lifting. My doctor(s) told me to stop due to the fact that I’m a diabetic. I’ve been back at it for 6 months now and the weights that I have at home aren’t enough. Thus why I was/am looking for a gym to workout. I was hoping that Elitefts was a gym francise like World Gym. I told that they didn’t have a corporate gym. Thus they dropped your name to me. I guess that they figured you could help me. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from you.

    • Julia Ladewski Julia Ladewski says:

      Courtney, I emailed you back. Unfortunately, Elitefts is not a franchise gym. Trust me, I wish it was!! Thanks for getting in touch with me!

      • Courtney L. Townsel says:

        Hi Julie; It’s been a few weeks since we’ve communicated. but I’m here with a progress report. Recently I made my doctor’s appointment. Well, he took me off of some of my medications. He dropped me from lisinopril which is a high blood pressure medication. My body weight is 213lbs. and my blood pressure was 120/83 which is perfect! He was concerned about the blood sugar. I’ve been over doing it with the chocolate chip cookies. Chips Ahoy! I just love ‘em. But I’ve cut back on them. I want off of ALL medications! I’ve also included some Olympic style lifting into my program. I have added power cleans, hanging cleans and press, Zercher good mornings and power cleans into the front squat. I still need to find a good iron gym. I want to include Zercher squats into my leg workouts. This along with barbell squats should take my strength into a place that I have never been before. September 27th I made 51 and my best days and lifts are still ahead of me. With the year coming to a close soon, I’m looking forward to finding a gym that will be very useful in helping me to improve my lifts. My doctors want me to hit a body weight of 180lbs. but I’m not trying to look like a fitness model. I’m all about getting big and stronger. Elitefts has been a blessing to me and my life so far. I’ve never been so motivated in my life. Even when I do feel like hitting the weights, I force myself. And have never regretted any workout. I just wanted to share that with you. And let you and Elitefts know that I thank GOD that you are there to motivate a prior service Marine to stay fit , strong and in shape!

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